The Flower, no, The Bunch of Cotton Pickin’ Weeds War!

34885Thanks to my friend, Jan, over at Jan’s Sushi Bar, I’ve decided to give this here posting every day thing a try, y’all.

It’s called NaBloPoMo, and I can’t believe how long it just took me to write that. Stands for “National Blog Posting Month”. You post something every day for a month.

The theme for the month is “Tomorrow.”

Well, yesterday we were talking about incompetence. As I said, I really think the world has gone downhill in the last couple of decades. Nobody seems to be able to get anything right anymore.

A word of advise. Don’t order flowers online.

The flowers you see here are a good example. I ordered this spray of all white flowers from the Teleflora website for my grandmother’s funeral last October. At least, this picture represents what I thought I was ordering. The total charge to my credit card was $100 and some change.

I received an email confirmation for them: “Thank you for choosing Teleflora. We’re very happy that we could connect you with one of the best florists in the business. In the event your selection is unavailable, a substitution of comparable quality and value will be dlivered.”

Okay, shouldn’t a floral delivery business know how to spell “delivered”? Maybe I should have seen a red flag, but sadly, I was grieving my grandmother’s passing and I never noticed it.

The day of the funeral came. I arrived early to the graveside, and wandered around to find the spray that I had ordered. The flowers were guaranteed to be there by noon on the day of the funeral. The service took place at 3 pm. Although there were many beautiful arrangements decorating my dear grandmother’s grave site….there was nothing there from me.

I checked all of the sprays, thinking maybe the card had been misplace. No all white display. Nothing from Teleflora. Nothing with a card missing that could have conceivably been from me.

After the funeral was over, I found the funeral home director and asked him if all the flowers for my grandmother had been brought to the grave site. He assured me that they had. And he offered to call and ket me know if any flowers arrived late.

Later that day, I had a message on my phone. It was the funeral home director, informing me that the flowers that were missing had arrived. And they had been delivered to the wrong location. After I saw them I was actually glad that they had not been delivered on time, y’all. Unbelievably, this is what they delivered:

smaller flowers

Does anyone see any white flowers? Me neither! All I see is a bunch of cotton pickin’ weeds! Do y’all see why I think the whole world’s going to hell in a hand basket? What kind of idiot thought this would be acceptable?

This started a heated email exchange between me and Teleflora. I might be southern, and therefore polite and sugary as sweet tea most of the time, but this was war! They picked the wrong time and the wrong occasion to mess with me. This was MY GRANDMOTHER’s flowers and funeral they had ruined, and I was spittin’ mad!

I’ll finish tellin’ y’all how it all played out tomorrow….


2 thoughts on “The Flower, no, The Bunch of Cotton Pickin’ Weeds War!

  1. Oh, hon – don’t EVEN get me started. One of our employee’s wife’s grandmother (still with me?) passed recently. I went to ftd. com – and to give them credit, I’d used them successfully several times in the past – and ordered a lovely living plant that included a pink miniature roses and a pink oleander.

    I, too, got the “the arrangement you chose isn’t available, but one similar will be delivered.” Unfortunately, mine came on time to the correct place. It was so unattractive the funeral director placed it in a dark corner where no one could see it unless they were looking for it. It had some sort of pink flower shoved in an ugly plant that looked NOTHING like the one I chose – and the pink flower was more brown than pink because it was dying.

    Believe me, it did not take them long to refund my one hundred and fifteen dollars.


  2. I am in Oregon and felt bad because I couldn’t go to my Favorite Uncle’s services. I wanted my Aunt to know how much they meant to me growing up.

    I talked to my Sister in yet aother city but closer, who said she didn’t recall any flowers coming from me.

    I had called a local Visalia, CA florist thinking that it would be more personal if a local did it. We discussed the orchid that came in my drink when my Uncle took me to Trader Vics for my 18th birthday and asked and payed to get the arrangement to look great and suave and thoughtful all around… No I didn’t mind the extra $20 for the orchids.

    I just called them and she said she was sorry but a “few” fo the flowers didn’t get delivered. Would I like a refund?

    A refund? A refund? How about we go over and reperform the funeral? So my family knows how much he meant to me. So my Aunt knows how much she means to me? So they know how important they were in my young life?

    It has crossed my mind.

    Does this happen often? I was in tears and confessed I couldn’t go. So is that an opening for some real dirty deeds by florists?

    Maybe a is better. I thought I was doing the right thing.


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