Keely, over at Unmom, does this thing.
You post Random Thoughts on Tuesday. That’s it. Try it – it’s addicting. Then link back to Unmom and see what other people are randomly thinking and typing about.
I think I finally have this Random Thoughts posting figured out, y’all. What I have to do to make this happen is to keep a little list in a notebook of things that pop into my mind the day before. Because I cannot come up with a bunch of random thoughts first thing on a Tuesday morning. I’ve tried it and it can’t be done.
So yesterday, when I dreamed up this little plan, I got my notebook out and turned it to a blank page, ready to fill it up with all sorts of randomness.
There was only one problem. I could not find a pen.
Which leads me to my first question.
1. How many pens do you have to buy – to be able to have just one somewhere, anywhere, when you need one?
I have bought package after package of pens. I don’t think it matters how many you buy and put in your junk drawer, they are going to disappear. I think there is a black hole in my house that sucks pens into it when I’m not looking.
Which leads me to my second question.
2. Do y’all think it is possible that there is a cosmic black hole (or something) located directly over my house in Wilmington, North Carolina?
Seriously, have I missed the YouTube video about this? I swear there is something wrong down here, because I cannot…CANNOT…talk on a cell phone inside my house!
I used to think it was the crappy phone and/or the crappy service I used to have. So. I waited patiently for my two year contract to expire, all the while enduring calls that sounded like this : “Mom? Hi……when….so…..then…..she said…..and….before…..what was…..yesterday……important…..what do you think?”
So I’d say, “Klinton, you’re breaking up. I can’t hear you. Hold on. Let me try going outside.”
To which he’d say, “Mom? Are you there? Mom?”
Then I’d hear that joyful little electronic jingle that tells me the phone has dropped the call.
Not fun. So it’s two years later and now I have a much nicer phone with a cool little slide out QWERTY keyboard and everything. I have Verizon service now, which is supposed to be top notch, or at least way better than what I had before.
I was so excited. Now I could text! I could talk inside the house and not have to stand outside in the cold, and the rain, and the dark.
But nooooooooo. I guess I just need to learn morse code or something. It is not meant for me, in 21st century America, to be able to use an easy electronic devise like a cell phone in my own home.
The phone works inside the Corning factory, where I work. (I never even got a signal there on my old phone.) It worked in the rural contryside of Upstate New York, with no problem. It worked at the airport, in the grocery store, in the car, at the hairdressers, at other people’s homes…..just not in mine.
So, see? I obviously live directly underneath a black hole.
Yesterday, while I was searching in vain for a pen, I noticed something. So here’s my third and final question.
3. Is it normal for animals to follow you around all day and look at you when you get a day off?
Because that’s all mine do, y’all. My rottweiler and my cat follow me from room to room while I gather laundry, put things away, look for pens, curse mutter under my breath because I can’t find one, fix a cup of coffee, toast a bagel, read the newspaper, sit at the computer, brush my teeth, or whatever….they follow and they stare.
They stare at me as if they don’t know who I am. They stare at me as if they expect me to do some kind of puppet show to amuse them. They stare at me accusingly, as if to say, “Geez, we waited all week for you to have a day off – FOR THIS??”
I eventually got tired of looking for a pen, while the damn animals tried to give me a guilt trip, and gave up. Anyway, I had forgotten what I wanted to write down by then. So if I can find a pen between now and next Tuesday, maybe I’ll be able to compose a nice list of random stuff.
Or, I might not.