random thoughts tuesdays


keely over at unmom does this thing.

you post random thoughts on Tuesday. that’s it.

some random thoughts:

i wonder if anyone will care if  i don’t capitalize anything. i wonder if i should CARE if they care. no. i really shouldn’t care. ok then. no capitals today, y’all. it’s kinda like going with the flow. loosening up. typing therapy. not having a plan. (if you’re reading this, deb, aren’t you proud of me?)

i wonder why jan at planetjan is such a stickler for spelling errors. i mean, why does she care? well ok, i know why. she’s a teacher, and it’s her sworn duty. but her head will explode if she reads this blog entry, i’m sure. (if you’re reading this jan, you know i love you.)

i wonder why some people just don’t get it. really. all they do is constantly gripe and complain about how OTHER people aren’t doing stuff that THEY don’t do!(if you’re reading this, co-worker, sorry, but it’s true, hon.)

have you ever noticed that your first impressions of people are often wrong? i have. it has happened to me at work several times. so many times, someone i really didn’t like (at all) turns out to be one of my dearest  friends, and someone i thought i really liked (a lot) turns out to be a real PITA.

i’m sick sick sick of winter. did i mention that i’m sick of winter?

i’m having my first grandchild, y’all. well, i’m not, but, it feels like it. i hope my son and his girlfriend really are able to have a completely pain-free, wonderfuly glorious, natural childbirth experience at home with their midwife and hypno-doula. i hope nothing bad happens to the baby. i hope the midwife washes her hands. i wish i were more trusting of two twenty-something new parents to make the right decisions about something so important. ( if you’re reading this, son, you know i love you.)

i can’t wait to go and get garlic-garlic wings with my hubby tonight. we are celebrating valentine’s day late. it’s what we do….because we’re always working during all the normal hours and holidays that other people have off. ( if you’re reading this, jeff, you know i love you and i don’t care what day we celebrate. every day with you is a celebration.)

i hope my mother can make her doctor’s appointment tomorrow and not wind up in the hospital again. i wish she would just go to the doctor when she gets sick, like everybody else in the world, and not wait until we have to call 911, miss work (and sleep) to hang out with her in the hospital emergency room, and almost develop an ulcer over worrying about her. ( if you ever get a computer to work long enough to read this mom, AND are able to sit up in a chair long enough to do so, you know i love you, but you drive me crazy!)

i wish doctors would “get it”. maybe, just maybe, when someone comes into the emergency room, having trouble breathing because they have almost NO BLOOD left in their body from having a bleeding hemorrhoid for THREE MONTHS, with a blood pressure of 240/204, needing several, emergency blood transfusions, extensive surgery and constant monitoring they should not be sent home THE DAY AFTER the surgery, with no follow up appointment. especially if this patient is MY MOTHER, who has put off going to a doctor to begin with, until she was at death’s door.(if you’re a doctor, especially a proctologist, reading this, i hope you feel awful.)

it’s a battle, y’all. i mean, normal people would be alarmed if they had not pooped for, oh, TWO WEEKS and were having trouble peeing just a minuscule few drops, feeling so faint they have to be held up to keep from falling over, unable to eat, sleep or get out of the bed, wouldn’t they? i’m just sayin’. (still love ya, mom.)

i wish my brother was normal. i wish HE would go for a physical, too, since he’s lost weight, looks like he’s an AID’s victim and  looks like he’s 75 years old (he’s 46). it’s going to be a 911 party with him, too, i’m afraid. (….nah, my brother’s never going to see this…)

i hate leaving my dog for 12 and 1/2 hours a day, every day that we work. in a perfect world, i would be able to just stay home and hang out with her all day. her life is short, compared to mine, after all. it’s like leaving her for a week. sigh. (hannie, i know you can’t read, but i love you, too. even if the lady at the rottweiler rescue site thinks i’m not qualified to own one of HER special dogs. BITE ME, suzie.)

i’m absolutely thrilled over having a couple of days off. i know i should be grateful to have a job in this horrible economy, but work has gotten to be so stressful that it feels like a war zone. i just want to get under the covers, curl up with my husband, my cat, my rottweiler, my computer and a shaker full of manhattens.

and not worry about my mother. or my brother. or my first grandchild coming into the world without the benefit of a fetal monitor and a nearby staff of trained doctors and nurses. oh yeah, and whether jan’s head is going to stay intact.(jan? jan? are you still with me?)

maybe i should go back and fix all this mess.