Just randomly trying to keep up with life

randomtuesdayKeely, over at Unmom, does this thing.

You post Random Thoughts on Tuesday. That’s it. Try it – it’s addicting. Then link back to Unmom and see what other people are randomly thinking and typing about.

Today is actually Monday, but I will be gone for a few days. So I’m going to take advantage of the publishing feature that allows us to schedule posts for a day in the future.

This is me, speaking to the future.

I’ve been neglecting my blog the last two weeks. It has one of those times in my life where I feel like I’m struggling to keep my head above water. A lot of “stuff” has been going on.

My father-in-law is in the hospital. He had open heart surgery about six weeks ago and has not been well enough to go home. His wife, my husband’s step mother, is worn down from trying to go back and forth between their home and the hospital every day. She is relying on friends and relatives to take her and it is about a 45 minute drive, one way. We are going up to see what we can do for her, in the few days we have off from work.

The doctors keep changing his medication. One day he is “himself” and the next day he is confused, uncooperative and angry, depending on which medication is the “flavor of the day.” We have a big meeting scheduled for Tuesday with his doctors to try and convince them to stop trying all kinds of new meds and put him back on what was working for him before his surgery.

We were supposed to attend a college football game last Saturday. My youngest had tickets for us to go with him and his girlfriend to the ECU game to watch the Pirates play. But, my son’s grandmother, my first mother-in-law, passed away last week. The funeral was on Saturday. She had lymphatic cancer and suffered quite a bit the last few weeks. Two of my sons, the oldest and the youngest were pall bearers. The middle son was unable to attend because he was in the process of moving to Michigan, with his girl friend and my grand daughter.

My grand daughter who is just five months old. My grand daughter who is just starting to recognize people and smile at them. My grand daughter who is the first female baby that has my genes in her. My grand daughter who is just starting to develop a cute, little personality of her own.

It took the better part of two weeks to get them a truck rented, and packed, and for them to decide where they were actually going. At first they were moving to Virginia. Then, that fell through. Then Grandma Dot got sick and they had to pay her a last hospital visit. The banks were closed on Monday. When they finally got on the road, they had numerous stops to feed the baby, and change the baby. On top of all of that, the weather was bad.

I was so relieved when I got a text message that said, “We’re here.”

I’m glad they had a home to go to in Michigan. They are going to be living in her grandmother’s house. They are near Ann Arbor, and we hope Ryan will be able to find a job as a chef in one of the many restaurants there. But they will be too far away to visit very often, and it breaks my heart, y’all.

I got a new cell phone this week so I could send and receive text messages. Hopefully I’ll be able to stay in touch with my kids a little better, since texting is all they do. My old one had  small numeric keys that require you to hit each key about one hundred times, before it “guesses” which word you’re trying to type. It was maddening to me. And yes, I know you can change it to some other form of key function, but it kept reverting back to the other way and I am just too old to fool with all that.

So my new phone has a slide out, full keyboard that allows me to type on it like no bodie’s business. Look out, teenage step daughter! When we see you this week in New York, you might have to watch me text all the time, like we had to watch you constantly texting all summer!

Oh. No. Wait. Scratch that. She just got a new blackberry, so she will be way too busy texting on that to even notice what I’m doing.

It’s hard keeping up when you’re an old lady like me.

We Are Family


I was going to post this for Wordless Wednesday, y’all. But then I decided I had to add a few words.

This is “Pop Pop Jeff” with his new love, Freya. From the expression on his face, you would never guess that she is not his real grand daughter. Her father is my son, from my first marriage. When Jeff and I got married, my son Ryan was already in his twenties, so it’s not like he and Jeff ever bonded as step dad and step son, exactly.

In fact, I would have to admit that there have been a few rocky patches between them. Let’s just say they have not always seen eye to eye. It has gotten better through the years. They still aren’t madly in love with each other, but this baby sure hasn’t done anything to make the situation worse.

Thank God that Jeff would never consider not loving my grandchild.

When Jeff and I got married, I was already in my forties, and unable to have any more children. I felt kind of bad for Jeff, because he only had a five year old daughter at the time, and I’m sure he would have loved to have another child. We got a puppy, and she became the child we take care of together. But in the back of my mind, I was hoping for the day that we would have grandchildren together. I figured it would be the next best thing.

And I was right.

I smile to myself whenever Jeff talks about how he and Freya have “already bonded.” Whenever he holds her, she just lights up. She studies his face as if she is trying to remember him from somewhere – and maybe she is.

I love the fact that he treats her like she belongs to him. I love the fact that she has brought our family full circle. I love the fact that my son has proven to be one of the most loving fathers either of us have ever seen. I love the fact that Jeff says Ryan reminds him of himself, when he first had Danielle.

I love the fact that a tiny baby can work miracles without even trying. She has turned both daddy and Pop Pop into quivering bowls of jello. She has made the two of them have something in common. She has made the two of us into grandparents.

We are no longer just “Ryan’s mom” and “Danielle’s dad.” We are no longer just “stepmom” and “stepdad.” We are Freya’s grandparents.

And that feels so good.

We also have another little miracle on the way. My oldest son, Kyle, is having a son. So Pop Pop and I will have one of each. Granddaughter. Grandson. Family.